Nine days and done!

I ended my cleanse early at nine days.  After battling my cold throughout this whole cleanse and having a social event, I decided that I was ready to come off my cleanse.  It didn't go exactly how I had planned, but that is life. Sometimes you have to just roll with it!  I do feel like it has been a reflective time for me.  I am more conscious of what I am feeding myself and feel a bit more calm & content.  It is a step by step journey to being healthy and living the life I want to.  I am reading Deepak Chopra's "Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga" right now.  I feel something swirling around inside me...my passion for yoga always growing...on the brink of something wonderful here!!!  In life we sometimes have to take a step back so that we can then take two steps forward.  Believe in yourself and trust where you are going!

Week One Down

Week one of my cleanse is complete!  I am still not over my cold, which has been a real drag.  So although I have been eating healthy, I still have not managed to do the early morning wake ups yet.  I am trying to be gentle with myself and realize that it is ok to just rest right now.  I have been drinking a lot of tea and enjoying soup quite a bit!  It is nice to reconnect with what you are eating.  The habit of starting my day with a hot bowl of oatmeal & fruit has been very comforting.  I can feel a shift in my thought process about what to eat and it makes me happy.  We are always evolving and growing...it is a beautiful thing! 

End of Day Two

I am wrapping up day two of my cleanse.  Unfortunately I have come down with a cold!  So now I am adding an herbal immunity blend to the mix.  Hopefully that will help, I don't usually get colds but this is now the second cold this fall for me!  I have been great with my food & drink for the cleanse...but the meditation not so much.  I have been trying to sleep in to fight this cold off, so cross my fingers the extra hour of sleep this weekend will do me good too.  I had a headache yesterday, but that may have been because of my cold.  Today I feel good (besides the cold part) and haven't even missed coffee.  Have been drinking a bunch of herbal tea and having one green tea at work during the day.  For breakfast I have been having either oat bran or oatmeal with some fruit, a dash of cinnamon and maybe a splash of coconut milk.  Soups are great! Tonight I made a veggie soup with sweet potato, red bliss potato, celery, onion, garlic, peas and spinach simmered in water with some curry powder and a slice on lemon to finish it off.  Warming and delightful!  Snacking on almonds, organic wild rice cakes, fresh fruit & veggies through out the day.  Went to Whole Foods tonight and splurged on these raw food snack bars that I like.  I also picked up some delicious coconut based "ice cream" for when I am finished on my cleanse and ready for a healthy sweet treat.   It's amazing how much energy you get from nourishing yourself with healthy food! 

Preparing to Cleanse

The time has come to do another cleanse!  Henry and I had attempted to do one together at the start of fall, but it wasn't very successful.  Cleansing is personal for me I guess and I do better if I focus on just my own cleanse instead of worrying about my husband too haha!

Why cleanse?  Many great reasons to cleanse!  Everyday we are constantly around toxins.  Cleansing gives the body a chance to get rid of toxins and re-energize itself.  Cleansing helps aid in liver and kidney function.  Eliminating processed foods and certain foods that are harder for your body to break down, your system has a chance to rest and feel nourished.  The skin also benefits from a cleanse as well, becoming more radiant.  The body can return to a balanced state.  After a cleanse it is easier to maintain healthy habits.

Creating a sense of ritual & relaxation through cleansing helps soothe the soul.  This time while cleansing I will focus on a whole mind body purification.  Starting the day with seated meditation, light yoga and warm water with lemon & honey.  Treating myself to dry skin brushing to help with circulation and detoxification.  Doing self massage after the shower with body oil.  Sometimes cleansing is not just about what we drink and eat, but also looking at our lives and realizing where else can we do a little clean up.  Maybe reading more, spending less time online.  I will of course update my blog, but I plan to try my best to limit my time sitting in front of the screen.

My cleanse will begin on November 1st and will be a 2 week long cleanse.  I will be using the Whole Foods 14 day cleanse kit again (same one I did in the spring) which has a fiber pill, laxative pill and liver detox pill.  I ordered some organic roasted dandelion root tea to enjoy along with some other teas I have on hand, as I will not be drinking coffee.  No processed food, sugar, dairy, alcohol...super clean eating here I come!!! 

Holiday Feasts and What to Eat

Ah the holiday time is quickly approaching!  I love getting together with family and friends to enjoy a wonderful meal and be thankful for all we have.  The past few years I have been making some side dishes to bring along.  I like to take a twist on fresh cranberry sauce adding in another fruit to lighten up the sugar needed.  Last year I decided we need a sweet potato dish, so I added caramelized sweet potatoes alongside our standard mashed squash.  I also put my adorable corn cob cast iron molds to good use making little corn bread sticks.  This year I am planning on adding some delicious vegetarian main dishes to the table.  I have been looking at stuffed squash recipes.  Leaning towards making a squash stuffed with wild rice and cranberries & pecans!  Martha Stewart.com has some good looking recipes on her Everything Thanksgiving: Meatless Thanksgiving Recipes.  People ask me all the time how can I be a vegetarian and what do I eat....well there's so much to eat!  I love fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, grains!  After being vegetarian during high school and even dabbling in being vegan when I lived in NYC, I then fell of the wagon in my mid twenties.  I battled with my need to control my weight from my high school days of dancing into my early twenties when I always felt the pressure to look a certain way.  NYC amplified that for me and it became a bit of a problem, but that could be a whole other blog...so anyway, after I moved away from the city I sort of gave all that up and it became a free for all!  Of course I gained weight and felt more sluggish.  Then came the time to realize things and come back to the person I wanted to be.  One filled with compassion for animals and focused on healthy living.  Personally I can no longer enjoy eating meat and feel better living my life as a vegetarian.  My journey deeper into yoga and deciding to train to be a yoga teacher guided me back to my veggie self.  Something just clicked, and while it is not easy to say no to some of the things I used to enjoy, it is harder to get over the thought of eating an animal.  This blog is by no means to be taken the wrong way, it is everyone's personal choice whether or not to eat meat.  I'm just sharing with you my choice of not eating animals and some insight of why I chose not to and what I enjoy eating instead.  Thanksgiving for me will be filled with stuffed squash, green beans, corn bread, potatoes & vegetarian mushroom gravy, cranberry sauce, and maybe a piping hot serving of leek bread pudding thanks to Martha Stewart!  And don't forget apple & pumpkin pie are vegetarian too!!!  With much love and gratitude to all beings, wishing everyone a joyful holiday season!!!

Glowing Practices

Why black light yoga you ask???  Isn't everything better when you glow?!  That's what I think!

Doing yoga with the soft glow from black lights is not only fun but also opens up your practice to a new dimension.  You can let go of judgement, instead all you see is the beautiful glow from everyone's white or neon clothes!  Something magical happens when you put music, movement and the "glow" all together during a yoga practice.  You can reach a more meditative feeling by flowing through some continuous Sun Salutations.  A black light practice can also create a fun atmosphere, wearing glow bracelets and tapping into our child-like spirits.  Finding laughter as we challenge our balance in the dark.  Maybe even bouncing a little in downward dog to the music!  Get your glow on!!!

Finding My Way

Been home now for about 3 months, but feels like longer!  Came back to a busy schedule at the salon.  Then my husband and I moved into a new place.  Through all that it became hard to keep that yoga high going!  I came home from Costa Rica in March so pumped up and then felt like I deflated by April.  It hasn't been easy "breaking" into the yoga world here.  I started teaching Monday nights this month and am slowly trying to build that up.  I think when I got home I just assumed the transition would just happen, and I would just gracefully begin teaching yoga.  But it's funny how things happen for a reason.  A client at the salon asked me if I would be interested in teaching yoga at the high school.  Figuring that I had nothing to lose, we swapped emails and she got me emailing with the high school gym/wellness teacher.  I thought it would be fun to go in and teach the tenth grade students some yoga, and the teacher was thrilled to have me come in!  But as the end of May came around and it was time for me to teach my three days in school, I grew more and more nervous.  What were the kids going to be like?  Were they going to listen to me?  Would they ask silly questions?  The day arrived and as my husband pulled up to the high school to drop me off I had to remind myself to "just breathe" and that this would be ok!  Once I got in there and began my first class I felt energized and happy to share yoga with these young minds.  Over those three days I felt my passion being reignited and I remembered why I was doing what I was doing. Teaching these bright eyed, somewhat skeptical even, teens was such an experience for me!  They infused me with energy again.  Hopefully next year I will be invited in to teach again, and maybe even all grades too!  Finding my inner teacher with the help of these high school students will be something I will forever be grateful for.  I hope that they got as much as I got out of that time on the yoga mat! 

Springing into Change

Back home and beginning to make some changes.  I have decided to do a cleanse kit for the first time.  I have done juice fasts and a week of all raw fruits/veggies, but this is the first time doing a proper cleanse.  No sugar, caffeine, alcohol, dairy, processed foods plus a cleanse kit of supplements for 14 days.  This is something very exciting for me as weird as that might sound, I enjoy the challenge and look forward to feeling fresh for the spring!  Now that I'm home it's time to figure out my next steps with yoga teaching too.  Need to organize my thoughts, start planning out some classes and start teaching!  Have some goals to set for myself and my own yoga practice too.  I want to continue working on my inversions.  At training it was emphasized that as a teacher we should be able to do inversions at least at the wall...handstand, forearm balance and headstands.  I struggled with handstand for the first week, for some reason I felt afraid of kicking the wall even though that was what it was there for.  Then it just clicked one day.  Forearm balance is easy to get up to with the wall, but I want to start working on not needing the wall there.  Before leaving for training I was already working on my headstands, so no worries on that!  My goal for this year is to get my arm balances.  Before training I usually just bailed out and assumed I wasn't strong enough.  Training built up my strength and confidence, now I need to keep going and by the end of the year I will be strong on my hands.  This is a big year of changes for me.  Good changes, strong changes and of course healthy changes!  I will keep things posted on all these beautiful changes going on.  I always find that making changes at certain moments can make all the difference, so welcoming in the spring and new opportunities!

Airport Reflection

Sitting at San Juan International Airport reflecting on this journey in Costa Rica.  I have learned so many things over this month long adventure!  A wealth of yoga and teaching knowledge with some personal growth thrown in there too.  I now know how to pack for such a trip too, not that I did am awful job but I could have packed less of course!  My yoga practice got challenged.  Going to yoga teacher training I expected to study the history of yoga and how to properly teach classes, but I didn't think my personal practice would become so much deeper.  This experience has tied everything together for me.  It has truly joined both my physical asana practice with the spiritual practice as well.  I'm already plotting and planning my next big adventure to do my advanced training.  This trip was also the first time I have left the country by myself and stayed out of the country for such a length of time.  It was a thrilling experience that has opened the door for more travel hopefully.  For now I will head home and work my you know what off so I can save for another journey.  Advanced training in Thailand & Spain...hmmm which one first?! 

Month of Lessons in Non-Attachment

A month away from home in a foreign country is sure to be filled with lessons in non-attachment.  Packing enough but hopefully not too much as I would be carrying a travel backpack.  I originally planned on carrying on my pack, but the airport said otherwise.  Ah the stress of trying to cram it all into that pack meant no make up, just a basic face/body soap bar and a simple face lotion.  Mainly yoga clothes seeing as three weeks of my time would be at yoga teacher training.  It always feels liberating to me not to be weighed down by lots of unnecessary things.  However, standing at the airport I learned my first lesson of non-attachment as I had to release the pack into the hands of check in.  It was a disappointing feeling and then there's the thought of what if it doesn't arrive in Costa Rica?!  Then I let go and accepted that this was great, now I didn't have to lug this heavy thing around!  Arriving at the Goddess Garden I had some more lessons in non-attachment.  At home I have a soft, comfy bed and an ergonomic memory foam pillow...ah good 'ol Goddess Garden's twin bunk beds were "firm" and the pillow was maybe and inch thick.  But I adapted to this by folding my little pillow in half to make it a bit more comfortable.  I actually ended up getting some of my best sleep there in the rainforest.  There are so many things we become attached too in life.  The way we look or watching tv, wearing make up and doing out hair, the sound of people's voices.  While away for my three weeks of yoga training I didn't call home.  I wanted to live in the moment and enjoy the time away learning.  Now here at Samara beach my husband and I learn another lesson in attachment...the ocean took both of our sunglasses!  I had just said earlier today how it was no biggie that I squished them a little yesterday when playing on the beach.  There was a little crack in the lens, but eh I only needed them for a couple more days.  Then as I body surfed a wave this afternoon, the wave rode off with my super cool white shades!  All I could do was laugh, hey I had the choice of grabbing the sunglasses or my bikini top, figured the bikini top was higher on the priority list.  But nothing is forever, even my $4 shades left me before my time in Costa Rica was up.  Even funnier was that a couple waves later and my husband was also dealing with non-attachment to his shades too!  It has been a fun month here and I have learned a lot about what I really need.  There are always wants and wishes, but I made it through without a lot of those comforts of home.  Never take things for granted and never think you will always have something, cause in the end we leave this world without our "things". 

Farewell sunglasses...

Yogic Diet

Yogis are very interesting, their spiritual path not only includes meditation and scripture but also eating in a certain way and purification rituals.  It's all about leading a clean life.  Traditionally they would of course be vegetarian, after all Ahimsa (non-violence) is strictly followed.  As a high school student I went veggie, but although I loved animals it was more of a health/diet thing at that time.  Then in my early adulthood I dabbled with being vegan, again more of a food control thing.  In my mid 20's I came to terms with the fact that I had major issues with my need to control food and it was beginning to become an unhealthy obsession.  So I fell off the wagon and started eating meat again, along with all sorts of junk! I became chubbier and less healthy, less happy with myself.  When I decided to enroll in yoga teacher training I also decided it was time to get back to a healthier me.  Over the next few months of getting ready for training I made the decision to go back to being vegetarian, however I would have the occasional seafood dish not really thinking too much about it.  I felt like I was getting back to my roots.  I have always felt very passionate about healthy eating and lifestyle.  Eating light, nourishing foods always leave me feeling good...after heavier meals like the Mexican feast I had last night with a couple beers, I feel bogged down today.  During training we talked extensively about yogic diet, being vegetarian and about how yogis believe food has different energies.  Sattvic foods are considered the purist form of energy....fresh fruits & veggies, nuts, seeds, legumes, and whole grains.  Rajasic foods are foods of change, passion, and restlessness...anything hot, spicy, stimulating.  Tamasic food makes you sluggish, think processed food, meat, fish, and alcohol.  It is interesting to take notice of what you eat and how it makes you feel.  Yogis would try to eat a Sattvic based diet.  I most definitely notice how I feel and seem to be quite sensitive to the foods that I eat.  With all the talk about food, I realized that allowing myself to have seafood has been a crutch for me.  It makes going out to restaurants easier.  But it also means that I am not really a vegetarian if I want to still eat seafood.  So I have made the hard decision to adhere to being a vegetarian fully because that is truly what is important to me.  This has been very challenging so far in Samara.  This area is full of fish and meat based dishes.  But I have figured it out...life isn't always about being easy!  Challenge yourself to look into what you are eating and nourish yourself the best way possible =)

Two Hour Practice

During yoga teacher training I had the pleasure of doing a two hour practice every morning, after a 30 minutes meditation.  Now that training is over and I'm on vacation, I feel kind of lost without that practice!  It was very challenging to do such a long practice, but I honestly loved it!  Growing up going to dance classes, usually class was two or more hours long.  That intensity has carried over into my love of yoga.  Some days at home I like to enjoy a morning yoga class and then head back to the studio for an evening class too.  Flowing vinyasa just speaks to me...makes me so joyful!  I definitely can't wait to share that with people when I get back and can start teaching.  For now here in sunny Samara, it's time to get the swimsuit on and head to the beach.  I believe a beach yoga session is in the works for me today!  Namaste <3  

Rain & More Rain

My time on the east coast in Cahuita was less sunny beach time than I thought.  We were quite busy with our yoga practice and studying, not leaving a lot of time for fun in the sun.  Then on our two days a week when we had the afternoon off it often times rained on our parade!  So the amazing tan I expected to get didn't happen.  I hadn't given much thought to what a retreat center in the rainforest would be like.  When I read there was a beach I just assumed I would be out getting a lot of sun.  Not so much when you are surrounded my heavy vegetation and have a ton of "school" work to do.  But that is ok cause now it's vacation time on the west coast at beautiful Samara Beach.

The rain was pretty in the jungle area during yoga training.  One night we got hit with some pretty intense thunder & lightening.  It woke me up and I will admit I really missed my husband!  I'm a bit of a baby during storms and usually he keeps me safe.  The next morning I joked with one of my room mates that I almost climbed in her bed haha!  The other thing about having rainy days was that it allowed me to have some relaxing time.  I took a nice nap during afternoon off with rain.  There is also something so invigorating about rain drops falling on your face, especially when they are warm rain drops and not bitter cold ones in New England.  Rain or shine I was a happy girl on my yoga retreat =)

Dancing Yoga Fun!

Last night was a yogi dance party!  Our wonderful anatomy teacher was finishing up our training with a fun yoga, movement and love fest!  We got to just move how ever we wanted to, then we danced around the room.  I love having the chance to do these things...just letting go of any and all judgement as we find joy.  Everyone had a smile from ear to ear.  We have all been working so hard on our yoga classes we had to teach to each other and be critiqued on.  We finished our teaching yesterday afternoon, so we could finally let go of all that stress.  Ending it with sweaty hugs to remind us all that we're a family now and to always love & support each other.  And of course a party ain't a party without dessert!  We feasted on yummy warm brownies after all that dancing.  Jumping in the pool after to cool ourselves off after.  It started raining on us while we were swimming.  I love the feeling of raindrops when swimming...and walking back to the rooms just holding my towel cause it doesn't matter when you're already wet.  Feeling alive as every drop of water splashes onto me!!!  I have loved this experience here...even the hard moments cause those are the moments that make you a stronger person.

Mama Sloth & Baby!

My heart melted a little today as I stood only a few feet away from a mama sloth and her baby. What a creature!  Poor mama fell out of a tree here at Goddess Garden, scaring a classmate.  She actually thought it was a dead monkey at first, but then realized it was an adorable sloth mama.  I have never been so close to a wild sloth...it was amazing!  It very slowly started to climb back up into the tree, giving us a grand show.  The baby was so tiny but yet so strong, just clinging to its mama.  It was one of the most moving moments for me when it comes to my experience with wildlife.  The way it cocked its head at us, probably trying to figure out what on earth just happened to it.  Falling out of a tree and then landing right on the edge of our path way.  I will share photos when I snag some from my classmates, don't you know my camera battery wasn't charged at this most magical moment!  As mama carefully climbed up, at one point her back was to us and I caught a glimpse of the baby's little arm tightening its grip on mama's back.  It was such a precious thing to see.  Sloths aren't typically considered to be beautiful, but this sloth was absolutely adorable!  My heart expanded a little today as I looked into the eyes of the sloth mama <3 

Feeling relieved!

This morning I taught my second vinyasa flow class to my peers.  It went so much better than Friday!!!  I got the timing right, a full 75 minutes, and I had fun teaching.  Nervous to start of course, relaxing as I went on to smile and have fun with it.  Last time I felt like I choked and became a ball of nerves, never letting my true self shine through.  It felt so good to enjoy it this time around and feel more natural talking the class through the flow.  It's fun putting together flows and being creative.  Ahhh...I can truly let go and just be happy again to be here learning and growing =) 

Letting it go

I woke up this morning still feeling upset about my first teaching experience.  I felt disappointed with myself and overall just emotional at this point.  Walking on the beach didn't really lift my spirits as I hoped.  At times I just felt like bursting into tears and curling up into a tight ball.  But as I began to hear about everyone's feelings about teaching their first classes, I realize we are all in the same boat.  We are all nervous and tongue tied.  This is a big deal and we are learning!  I still wish I did a better job and shined more, but I need to remember that I did a good job for being a new teacher.  At least the positive things that were said about my class were really meaningful.  People could tell I loved what I was doing.  My personal practice is strong and I demonstrated poses properly.  My voice was soothing and the assists felt good.  It will all come together!

Thankfully, I have wonderful room mates here at Frog Lotus Yoga Teacher Training.  They have been so supportive, listening to me whine about how awful I was feeling.  Most importantly, we have been laughing!  It feels so great to be sounded by fun people who enjoy life like I do.  There is nothing more healing that a good laugh where your abs start hurting and your cheeks get tired of smiling!

It was one of our afternoons off today.  Snorkeling was on the agenda but was cancelled due to poor visibility again.  I was feeling a bit withdrawn and maybe wanted to just be alone today.  But a couple of my friends rallied me up and we took a cab to nearby Puerto Viejo for a little beach escape.  What a fun afternoon, exactly what we all needed!  Just to get away and forget about all the stresses and pains we are having here right now.  The water was warm and the sun was shining...and the pina colada was tasty!

Sometimes we just have to surrender...funny this is what we discussed in class today.  Ishvara Pranidhana, the 5th Niyama, which means to surrender to the absolute.  I tend to obsess about things that are out of my control, either in the past or the future.  I can't changed what has already taken place.  And it's a waste of time to fret about the future.  Better to be in the present moment and find joy in what is.

Teaching

Today was my first class to my fellow yogis here at training.  I feel like a jumbled mess right about now.  I know that you have to learn and make mistakes to get better, but that doesn't stop me from feeling critical of myself right now.  Unfortunately I miss calculated my time, so when I looked at the clock I just figured for a 60 min class forgetting the math was for 75 minutes...so I short changed my class by 15 minutes.  I just got freaked out in my head and let the panic rule me.  It's ok, I know I will get better, more comfortable with everything.  It's just really hard when you feel like you are being watched and judged on your performance.  It brings up silly emotions for me and makes me feel disappointment.  I need to let it go, but that is much easier said than done!  This training has been incredible and I have been learning so many things.  It has become sort of an overload feeling for me at this point.  Luckily tomorrow is a half day for us.  We have class only until lunch and then all afternoon to do whatever we please.  I'm signed up for the snorkeling trip.  Getting into the water to swim will make me feel better.  Also since I wake up early anyways, I'm thinking an early morning walk to the beach for the sunrise might also help me clear my head.  Have to find my inner warrior and move forward, next class I teach is Sunday! 

Sun Salutations and the Rainforest

Woke up early today to take a walk down to the beach for the sunrise, but the clouds had other plans!  The beach was still beautiful and the water was warm but there was no glorious rise of the sun.  Today was also our only day off, as in we only had a morning meditation and yoga practice, no classes!  We all were heading to the beach and into town for a day of shopping and having lunch.  Morning practice was "cardio" yoga in the form of vigorous sun salutations...fitting considering we were trying to get the sun to come out for our beach day.  Sweating and cracking a few smiles, I actually enjoyed this tough practice and it seemed to be working because the sun began to peak out its bright face.  Then it began to rain on the ride to the beach!  No problem, time for a yummy cappuccino at the beach bar.  It cleared to overcast, so it was time for a swim.  It was pretty rough, a lot of waves and the ocean had some strong suction going.  Jumping into the waves I couldn't help but laugh and laugh like a child.  After such an intense past week and a half of studying and practicing yoga I needed that moment of pure bliss.  Then looking up I realized there was a huge wave was coming my way.  Figuring my jumping up and throwing my back into waves tactic wasn't going to cut it this time, I decided to just body surf this wave in.  Bad move!  The ocean showed me all its glory!!!  I was quickly sucked in to its undertow and pushed down to the sandy floor and dragged a bit leaving me with some battle wounds.  Sand rash right above my left hip and a little bit on my right knee...along with a bathing suit full of sand haha.  It's all good, I made it up right and had a good laugh about it.  Took a little break to catch my breath, then returned to the mighty ocean for some more!


It is supposedly dry season right now in Costa Rica, but maybe not in the rainforest?!  I don't mind, it mainly rains at night.  It's nice to sleep to the sound of the rain drops falling on the leaves.  Today was an easy beach day too, not too hot and I didn't get sun burnt.  The rainforest is a thing of beauty! 

delicious massage!

Today I treated myself to an hour hot oil ayurvedic massage.  Just lovely!  My shoulders have been hurting after two days in a row of Kundalini shoulder exercises, ugh.  Also I have had a nagging soreness behind my left knee and my yoga anatomy teacher said massaging it to get the blood flowing should help it out.  This massage was a worthwhile!  The hot oil was luxurious and used very liberally.  It felt so good on my overused muscles.  The massage therapist was really thorough.  Awesome foot massage, remembering all ten toes.  Even a stomach massage, which at first felt a bit ticklish but then it was really nice.  It was a Chakra balancing massage so it had a soothing spiritual side to it too.  I left feeling nourished, taken care of, and lighter.  Possibly  even a little taller.  Definitely a good splurge on my self!  This training has been more physically challenging than I had expected, so a massage was a necessary.  I love any excuse to have someone rub my body!

Shoulders and more tears

Today's morning practice was about opening and strengthening the shoulders.  Most of us have tight shoulders because of all the forward motions of life.  Reaching forward on the computer, hunched over driving, for me always reaching towards my clients heads while I color and style their hair.  Shoulders have always been a tight place for me and I have worked very hard to try and open them more.  I knew the shoulder opening and strengthening class was going to be challenging for sure!  What I wasn't prepared for was the tears that came streaming down my face as we pushed through the uncomfortable feelings and built strength in our shoulders.  We warmed up with some Kundalini yoga exercises with breath.  Very much like doing tiny arms circles to tone the arms, but many many different arm positions and linking the breath with the movements.  Inhaling and then forcefully exhaling, moving quickly and building speed.  It was extremely intense, so I just wanted to give up.  But with the help of our teacher leading us through, explaining we can keep going, moving through the pain and being strong...I can't even remember what she was saying, but I just broke down.  My shoulders were burning as I worked past that pain and just opened everything up.  All the things that I have been holding in there came streaming down my face.  It was such a cleansing feeling, very relieving actually.  We moved onto more of our standing practice and the tears subsided.  But that wouldn't be the end of tears!  As we rested in savasana ending our practice a beautiful song was played and again I found myself with tears flowing down my cheeks.  I hadn't realized how much I was holding onto inside.  Our next thematic class is heart opening!  Oh my, are there tears still left?!  I'm sure we'll all be a puddle of yoga tears at the end of that class and it will feel amazing!  I now understand what people are talking about when they say they cried in yoga class.

oh happy day!

Today was a good one!  Pepe (the kitty here) sat on my lap as I drank my morning coffee.  I sat on the opposite side for morning meditation and yoga practice.  To my surprise as the sun came up, being on the other side of the room I could feel the warmth on my back.  Of course this warmth then turned into a nice hot practice!  Sweating out all the toxins haha!  During our practice I felt so happy...sore yes, but also blissful! There were a couple songs on the playlist that I recognized from yoga at home, so that made me happy and lifted my spirits.  Also today I finally saw some wild monkeys hanging out in the trees!!! It was so amazing!  One of our "homework" assignments was to set up ten minutes of a yoga flow to teach.  We got into groups of four, taking turns at being the yoga teacher.  It was a fun experience and makes me excited to keep building upon this.  In two days we have to lead a 20 minute class...and we'll just keep adding on!  This yoga teacher training course has been incredibly challenging, but I feel like things are coming along.  I'm getting better with my Sanskrit and find all the history & anatomy to be quite interesting.  I just want to soak it all in.  Oh and the best part of today...CAKE!!!  Yes one of our teacher's celebrated her birthday with us tonight and we actually had dessert!!! It was on the healthier side of cake, banana nut cake, but had a delicious marshmallow frosting on it.  Just divine after eating so healthy...Happy Birthday!!! Namaste!

Tears

This mornings practice was one full of emotions.  Starting with a chant to Ganesh which was very moving.  It was a practice focusing on opening the hips.  Of course that felt great because of all the travel and stress which can make your hips feel on the tight, uncomfortable side.  About an hour and a half in, I found myself getting exhausted.  My body has been challenged by so much yoga, and although this is a wonderful thing sometimes when you haven't slept well and you're feeling bogged down by studies you just reach a wall.  Then we enter lotus position, crossing our legs, and were told to roll forward on our knees leaning on our palms and to just open our mouths and let out all that frustration and anxiety we were holding onto.  Roar like a lion!!! Release all that negativity! As we rolled onto our knees and palms for the third time I felt overcome by my emotions and tears began to fill my eyes.  After that third time we came out of lotus, flowed through a vinyasa to prepare the sequence on the other side.  I wasn't sure what to do with these tears, so I tried to tuck them in.  After we finished our two hours of yoga practice, I looked up at my yogi friend and told her I was so moved that tears filled my eyes.  Then I actually cried as we gave each other a comforting hug.  My tears weren't a bad thing, they were just a needed release from everything I was holding onto.  The stress of being away.  The strain of a difficult practice.  Missing my husband.  The anxiety of being in a school like setting with homework and quizzes.  So many things needed to just be let go of.  I will most likely cry again at some point I am sure.  This is a transformational time for me and I am ok with that.

Always treat yourself with kindness and be open to what you're experiencing. Namaste

I can hear them...

But haven't seen any of them yet!  Howler monkeys!!! So there are lots of monkeys all around us here in Costa Rica.  They love to make noise!  Yesterday morning during our meditation they got real loud.  It was the most amazing thing to be sitting in meditation and hear such a commotion out in the rainforest.  They usually make their occasional  bursts but this one was a long drawn out shouting match.  All the sounds here are incredible!  The monkeys carrying on, the birds chirping and the buzz of all the insects...it makes for a peaceful present meditation. Hopefully before my time is done here in Costa Rica I will catch a glimpse of one of these rowdy monkeys up in the trees!

Intense

This training is very intense and amazing!  I can't believe how much I am learning.  We are much busier than I think I expected.  Starting with a 30 min meditation which is followed by 2 hours of yoga practice.  Breakfast break is for an hour after practice, then it's time for 4 hours of class...learning poses, adjustments, anatomy, yoga philosophy and sanskrit. Lunch break is 2 hours, which usually means food and study time because when we get back to class we get tested and go over homework. Finally we have dinner and it's dark, we're tired and have more studying to do!  Not sure when I am supposed to work on my tan haha!  Twice a week we don't have class after lunch.  We can just relax at the pool or beach, go to town, or do various excursions.  Tomorrow will be our first afternoon off!!!  I am planning on relaxing by the water in the sunshine, while I study.  It is so worth it and I am so grateful for this experience.  Sending my love back home to everyone.  Looking forward to coming home ready to share so much xoxo

Goddess Garden

So today we made the four hour trek from San Jose to Cahuita.  All I can say is thank goodness for availability of ginger ale and crackers at our half way point rest stop! All the mountainous, bumpy roads did a number on me...haven't felt car sick in a long time and haven't missed that feeling one bit.  We arrived to a healthy & delicious lunch and then hopped right into things here with introductions and what to expect these next 3 weeks.  We did a nice gentle yoga flow before dinner and we dive right in to this intensive training first thing in the morning.  The retreat center is very rustic feeling, like living in the jungle.  It's amazing to hear the monkeys yelling and the buss of all the insects.  Yes, there's a lot of insects!  Spiders like I have never seen and it will be quite the experience for me getting over that fear haha!  And during yoga tonight a little baby bat some how lost his way and landed in the middle of our practice.  Then as we finished, just as I stood up, a frog jumped past me and into my yoga blanket...what a welcome I have had here!  Oh and there are a few kitties, a doggy and how about a pair of peacocks too! Tomorrow I will surely have more things to add to this list and I will get some photos up as well.  Exhausted and have to get up with the birds (or monkeys!) to start our morning meditation...good night all!

Being here

Buenos dias San Jose, Costa Rica!  Last night was my first night at Hotel Aeropuerto, got in about 9 p.m. after a very long day of travel that started by leaving my home in Marblehead at 7 a.m.  The hotel is nice enough, a small but very friendly place.  I tried to stretch out some after sitting on the plane and ate some peanut m&ms for dinner.  Yes thank you American Airlines for ignoring my request for a vegetarian meal, for dinner on the plane I received a bag of Fritos, a Twix, and because I don't eat meat they just gave me the tray with lettuce, tomato and pickle that was meant for the turkey sandwich! Oh man I was laughing to myself about this very filling and extremely healthy meal!  It was odd sleeping alone, I definitely miss my husband right now.  I know once I'm surround by all the other yogis and we start our training it will be better but last night and this morning felt odd. Of course I think it is a good thing to be alone sometimes and really sit with yourself.  This morning I woke up to do some more hotel yoga.  Feeling especially tight today, but hopefully some pool time later will help that!  The breakfast here at the hotel was a delicious treat...eggs, rice & beans, sweet plantains and of course a bunch of fresh fruits!!! Oh yes and I took advantage of 2 cups of cafe con leche, because on the yoga training schedule it says "tea" every morning at 7 a.m.  This leads me to believe I may be forced into a coffee detox hahaha!  Tonight the rest of the students arrive so we can all take the long bus ride together tomorrow morning out to the garden Goddess in Cahuita. 

Paz y amor 

Leaving on a jet plane

Sitting at the airport, full of so many thoughts!  Excited...nervous...wondering what this trip will bring!  I'm looking forward to being in a new place with new people and to be completely immersed in the yoga.  What a special trip! I am so grateful to be boarding a plane soon to go on an amazing journey.  Of course I will miss my husband and our doggy & kitties. But to be able to escape off to a beautiful paradise and take a moment in my life to only worry about me and my yoga practice, this will be something!  Time to board...next post from Costa Rica!!!
Peace & Love

Om...here we go!

So here I am!  Setting up a blog to share my experience as I take a journey to Costa Rica to complete yoga teacher training.  Thursday morning I leave on my adventure, an adventure I have wanted to take for some time. Lots to do before then!